Sorry...

Posted By: mellers on

Friday, October 10th, 2008, 4:55 am

I really could do with doing absolutely NOTHING today. I'm feeling tried and grouchy and loving the idea of just staying under the duvet watching TV programmes which I have recorded on the PVR.

Sadly, I have errands to run, shopping and gardening tasks to do and I can just FEEL the call of the hot buttered toast and coffee which has been my downfall of the last 2 weeks.

I had an e-mail from the guy who shares my house yesterday which should have cheered me up. It seems he had internet problems which is why he hadn't mailed before. It just made me cross though that he is completely oblivious the how hurt and upset I am by his comments and behaviour. I managed to stay within my points yesterday for the first time in about a week which was good news, but today I am feeling low again and like a binge is creeping up on me. I am so frustrated by this.

Edited on Sat morning to add that I managed to avoid the binge, did my errands and gardening and actually slept most of the night. Result! (Can I have my duvet day now?! lol!)

Tags: binging, duvet, low

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Posted By: mellers on

Monday, October 6th, 2008, 2:01 pm

I weighed in this morning, one pound down on last week but still no closer to giving a damn about myself or feeling like I have the courage to get properly back on the plan.

For the last 3 days the words "You'd better go and have your binge hadn't you" have been ringing in my ears and I am at a loss for how to rectify that state of affairs. I don't know why I was expecting some sort of support when I admitted how low I was feeling to him on Friday night, he never knows what to say or how to say it, but I suppose I wasn't expecting that kind of venom.

Anyway, I don't feel like I DESERVE to be eating healthily at the moment. I feel like a huge fat failure and can't even bring myself to care about the state of my diet.

It feels wretched, but that's probably because it is rather. I don't deserve any sympathy or hugs or commiserations either.

Tags: desperation, low

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