Posted By: sftmol on
I'm a middle aged mother of two, married, healthy and somewhat financially secure. I should have everything to live for. Life is pretty good and to complain seems selfish when I compare my life to others. My husband loves me, hasn't cheated on me (as far as I know), I have supportive parents, a great boss, two good (if not a little challenging) kids. And yet I sit here on a Saturday morning crying, wondering why I just can't seem to get a grip. Everything seems so superficial, void of any real meaning. Am I here on earth to raise children? Is that what life is for? To reproduce and have them go through the same motions you went through? School, work, family,mortgage, bills, retire, die. Even when I type that I wonder why that isn't enough. Shouldn't that be enough? I do have moments of joy and love with my family, that's what keeps me going, but sometimes I just don't think I can do it another day. If it weren't for the kids, I don't think I would. I have felt like this before, and I always seems to pull myself out of it. I'll set a new goal to focus on, or try to find joy in the everyday things, but that eventually loses its appeal and I'm back where I started. Wondering what it is all for. Maybe it's depression. Maybe it's thinking too hard or maybe it's realizing that all those dreams I had as a college student are never going to happen. I don't know what it is or how to fix it, but I do know that I can't keep on like this. It's not fair to my family or to myself.
Tags:
family, depression, meaning of life