Issues with friends ...
Well its been awhile since i've posted on here ... Ive been a bit ill for awhile and not felt up to posting ... plus I havent really done anything interesting.
I've recently been doing a bit of a life audit ... One of the things I have been unhappy for awhile with is a number of friends especially as its causing a variety of ongoing problems...
A couple of weeks ago I arranged to meet a friend (N) for a drink and we started walking into town, we seemed to be walking randomly but then we came across this hotel (seriously scruffy dump it was too) and he says "Oh I just need to go in here ... he said he had arranged to meet someone whose was stopping here I thought it was a bit strange but Hey Ho, each to their own!!
After being questioned at length by the receptionist (I felt like some sort of hooker!!) about who we were coming to see etc. The bloke (C) eventually came down from his room and after a bit of akwardness it was decided we should move to a pub for a drink ... I thought the local would do for a quick one ... but Oh no we had to traipse across town to Weatherspoons as C was "spendthrify" ... I really hoped we weren't going to be spending the evening with this individual as I had really wanted to spend some time with my friend (and he didnt inspire confidence in me of a wild, or even fun, night out)...
Anyway, the story eventually came out that N and C had "met" online at a Meeting site which puts people in contact with others from different parts of the world who are willing to offer (or help find) them accomodation for when they visit. Apart from the fact that my N lives at home with his parents, this seems a bit of a risky thing to be doing ...
As predicted C spent the entire night talking about the (9 mile) walk he had travelled up from London for and then his job working for the Revenue and Customs and then about his experiences of the TA as an accounting clerk. Thrilling eh!?!?
I was unsure of how to feel with N as I was puzzled whether he had known that this bloke was intending to spend the evening with us or whether it was a mix up on my friends part. C spent most of the night talking to my friend and I felt like a bit of a third wheel, if I'm honest, which was not nice ...
Then a week or two later I met him again, again for a drink ... and then he says he has to meet someone he stays with occassionally in Preston for a coffee ... he clearly stated that he (his friend, D) probably wouldn't stay for more than 30 minutes or so and so we went and got a coffee in the cafe... after talking with N for awhile, his friend turned up and then another person turned up ... I was completely flumoxed!!
All in all it seemed this was a prearranged night out for these people although none of them knew each other ... It seemed that N had just decided to invite a selection of his friends along, it was very weird! N spent most of the night sort of switching between us to talk to each of us and we spent a lot of the night going through the getting to know someone stuff, and I'd say that we are very unlikely to ever meet again. Overall it was an okish night but I just found it really annoying to be in that position and overwhelming.
I have been ill for awhile with depression and I have been finding large groups and busy places very anxious recently so this was not nice for me.... and to make things worse N kept putting me on the spot by turning to me and asking me what I thought about his internet friend. I had told N honestly what I thought on the way back to the train station on the night. I was quite embarrassed about saying negative things about someone I met for 3 hours (if I repeated what I had said on the night) and then he had left me open to questions regarding my graduation (I had to defer all my exams as I was too ill to sit them) and what im going to do next (all the typical questions you get when you meet someone new) ... it was embarrassing and brought on a lot of anxiety the next day and in the following days.
I don't know how to act around him now or what to say as I really dont want to be put in this position again. Up to yet I have been avasive to his text messages and we don't live anywhere near each other so its not hard to avoid bumping into each other.
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