The one about the hamster
I used to own a hamster called Kev. He was a rather un-orthodox but very much loved present from my other half. He more-so resembled a tiny brown mouse then a hamster and i got a lot of pleasure from taking him out of his cage and letting him run up and down my arms.....some times the cheeky bugger used to make it under my top......(although i cringe to admit it was a somewhat enjoyable experience so he was never scolded for achieving first base).....although other half was none to pleased about his furry replacment.
I digress.....
One such day Kev was going for a stroll on my person (bits) and i was proudly showing my guestes how clever (perverted) he was.....we had ordered a takeaway and when the deliverey guy arrived i put Kev back in his cage and went to sort out the nosh. What i didnt realise was that i never shut the door on the cage. So an hour or so goes buy and i suddenly notice that i havnt heard any rustling coming from Kev and so i go over to have a look. To my horror i realise whats happened and proceed to tear the house apart looking for him.
No sign of Kev....
So we mourn the loss of our dear friend Kev and other half scolds me for being a terrible pet owner.
Two months pass. Im lying in bed reading and i hear a strange scuffling noise coming from behind my bed. I eventually cop on that in fact its coming from inside the walls - as i ponder what kind of creature could make this racket i have a eureka moment - KEV! So I'm in bed awake plotting how i can get Kev from inside my bedroom wall back into his caged haven downstairs.
The next evening i concoct a serious trapping device - namely an old basin balanced on a pencil, tied to a stick of celery - so kev eats the celery, inadvertedly moves the pencil, the basin falls trapping him- ingenious! And would you believe it worked! You bet ya!
A week after returning the prodical Kev to his haven i find him dead in his bed.
* Note to self. If an animal in my care manages to escape my clutches, his life expectancy in the wild has probably doubled and is best left alone.
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