Thursday, May 3rd, 2007, 5:12 am
After some advice from Liann (lilblondie) I phoned the hospital up yesterday to complain about the remaining tests not being carried out even though they took my blood! It turns out that they did do more test after all, but that for some reason the details hadn't been put into my notes yet. That must be why the consultant didn't think they had been done, and came up with an excuse. I got a letter through this morning saying that both mine and Tom's chromosome tests came back perfectly normal. This is definitely good news. Although there was only a tiny chance of it being a chromosomal problem, it helps me to feel a bit more positive about trying again.
We are definitely going to start next month. It's a shame I ovulated 2 days ago because we missed that chance! Still, having 2 cycles before possibly falling pregnant is a good thing. So, super healthy eating again from now on. I hope that having something to look forward to helps to pull me out of feeling so low. I am fed up of crying all the time. I'll try and stay positive now.
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Tuesday, April 24th, 2007, 9:07 am
Well I got some results back for the recurrent miscarriage tests, but only for 3 tests when they had said they would be testing for more. They took 7 lots of blood from me, and some from DH but didn't seem to use most of it!
The tests I got back were for blood clotting problems and for antiphospholipid syndrome (lupus anticoagulant and anticardiolipin antibodies). They were clear, thankfully. They didn't test our chromosomes like they said they would. I don't see why they took DH's blood. What a waste of time and resources, and of course blood! They had also said they'd be testing for other immunological problems other than APS, but they didn't. They didn't even test thyroid function or do a full blood count, but I had that done at my GPs a few months ago so maybe that was why. They won't do the further tests which they had agreed to, unless we have a 4th miscarriage. Hmmph!
So anyway, I'm happy that a few tests were clear, but I don't feel as relieved or optimistic as I had hoped. I'm glad that a couple of problems are ruled out, but it's hard to feel that everything will be OK.
The consultant advised that I start taking low dose aspirin from when we start TTC again until 12 weeks. I'm not sure really... there is so much conflicting advice. I know most doctors seem to think it's safe, but some prescribe it until 12 weeks, others until much later, and the research itself is a bit dubious. I have been looking at the research papers (handy still being at university, I have access to a good journal library!) and it doesn't seem very certain that low dose aspirin is OK for the baby. I have to weigh up putting the health of a baby at risk by taking medication, or perhaps dooming it to another miscarriage if I don't. Maybe it's best not to try at all? I don't know. There is always the option of going private and getting proper tests done. I just don't know how to decide where we go from here!
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Sunday, April 22nd, 2007, 10:20 am
I have an appointment with a consultant to discuss my recurrent miscarriage tests tomorrow, and I am so nervous about it! I hardly slept at all last night, and it's hard to think about anything else. Unfortunately Tom starts back on his course tomorrow, and he is away all next week... so I'll be on my own too. I am supposed to be giving a presentation tomorrow afternoon, but if the results are bad, that could be difficult!
I feel that so much is depending on good results tomorrow. I know that even if they do find something wrong, it's not necessarily the end of things. It's just that it's not the waiting for a baby that is tough for me - I have already waited 3 years and I could wait 5 more years if I had to without complaining too much(!) - It's the experience of losing babies that I don't want to go through again. If they find something wrong, it means it wasn't 'chance' or 'bad luck' that led to our babies dying. If there is an actual cause, that cause is not just going to go away. We'll need more than just good luck next time.
So fingers crossed the tests come back clear. Of course that doesn't mean nothing is wrong, but it will give me a bit more hope!
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Friday, April 20th, 2007, 5:11 am
I have had my hair cut, because I needed a change. I had grown my hair long for the wedding.... which was a year ago now! My hair was just too big to manage, so I have had it cut off. Still getting used to it. What do you think?
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Wednesday, April 18th, 2007, 3:35 am
For my first blog, a bit about me:
I'm a 22 year old student, just about to complete the 4th and final year of my first degree in biology. I got married last year to my darling Tom, and the day was an absolute fairytale.
Since then, we have bought our first house and have had a lot of fun/hard work refurbishing the place. It's nearly done now, so on to the garden!
We celebrated our first anniversary recently, and so much has happened over the past year it's hard to believe we haven't been married longer.
We lost our first baby on 13th May 2004 at 12 weeks, due to a complete miscarriage. This baby was unplanned, but very much wanted and it was a hard thing to go through at such a young age. 2 1/2 years later, and after getting married, we started to TTC but have sadly lost 2 more pregnancies at 6 and 8 weeks. That's 3 losses now, which is hard to understand because we are both young and very fit and healthy. We are currently undergoing recurrent miscarriage testing to see if there is anything wrong.
So that's where I am in life right now, blessed with a wonderful husband and happy life, but struggling through the journey of recurrent miscarriages. I never imagined it could be this painful. We get our first set of results next week, and to be honest life right now is a waiting game until then.
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