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head_of_community

head_of_community
I like maltesers and diet coke, usually for breakfast

head_of_community's Blog

Are Kids Worth it?

Thursday, August 21st, 2008, 9:54 am

My friend's daughter turned to me, in the middle of a busy restaurant, and asked when I was going to have a baby. I think she was expecting me to whip one out before the desserts arrived.

The baby question wouldn't be so awkward if I weren't at least five years too young (although not literally; I'm not eight years old) and wasn't under pressure from my mum and sister, who breed like rabbits and have enough children to start their own independent nation.

I love being one of five children, although obviously not when my brother stabbed me with a fork, tried to suffocate me with a cushion, and told me that evil demons called Hallowerichas lived in the bushes near my house and were going to kill me. Then again, when we told my youngest brother that dinosaurs had eaten my little sister, it was all worth the long term psychological damage.

I like children (although I couldn't eat a whole one, ho ho ho) but why do most people assume that you'll automatically want babies, just because you're female? My friend feels miserable because she doesn't really want children, but thinks she's supposed to.  She sighed as she said that in five years she'd have a baby, like it was a fatal disease.

Do you think that women who choose not to have children are selfish, or is it the other way round? Does any woman actually have a baby to boost the nation's tax income? Share your views on the Child Free by Choice board

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lowhite103

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lowhite103 23 Sep 2008 16:19:00 GMT

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helen_p

I think each to their own. There's nothing selfish about not having kids, or only having one. Life should be about freedom of choice and it would be great if everyone could accept each other for exactly who we are, nothing more.

I feel really sorry for those who are desperate for kids but can't have them - my heart really goes out to them. As a woman you expect that right and it must be gut wrenching to try and fail. What must be even more devastating is people who say 'no pitter patter of tiny feet?' after you've just failed the IVF yet again. So I think that anyone who even thinks of asking this question should seriously think before they speak as they don't know the circumstances.

I love being a mum, it's the best thing that ever happened to me, but I would never condemn anyone for deciding not to have kids, that just wouldn't be right in my book.

Helen, mum to ana 15 months and bump 35 weeks.

helen_p 30 Aug 2008 17:23:00 GMT

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cl-psc_loves_her_moosey

I'm not child free by choice, but I do have an only child, who will be an only child by choice, so a lot of the comments that seem to go to child free (not childless) couples I seem to be hearing a lot of..... I've been told I'm selfish for not having a sibling for my daughter!!

Sadly I do know people who have had one child and then beleive they have to increase their brood so that they can gain more "benefits" or climb higher up the social ladder!

I have complete respect for people who make the choice to not have children, I don't beleive their selfish just as I don't beleive I'm selfish in having one child.

I have no problems in the assumption that couple will have a child/children but I think it's wrong for people to expect!

cl-psc_loves_her_moosey 22 Aug 2008 11:23:00 GMT

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