Thursday, June 26th, 2008, 5:01 am
If you thought Jerry Springer was merely an American TV host who made his fortune pedalling base-level trash, spawning the likes of Jeremy Kyle in the process, you'd be wrong.
But only just (that is basically what he is).
But jolly old Jerry is also, it has been revealed, a counsellor to the stars, his latest and barely believable subject being Kate Moss.
The Daily Star comic reports that Kate has been seeking words of advice from Jez as she is worried about her friend, Rhys Ifans, who has just split up with Sienna Miller.
'A source' told the paper: 'Jerry has patiently listened to her worries and given her some sterling advice. This unlikely therapy has turned her into a new woman.'
Indeed, Kate was last seen wearing a tatty old shellsuit, heading for the local DSS with a fag hanging from the side of her mouth.
Go Jerry, go Jerry, go Jerry!
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Thursday, June 26th, 2008, 4:43 am
Believe it or not, there are one or two things you can still buy that haven't yet been endorsed by David Beckham.
But he's doing his best to change all that and is, according to reports, considering bringing out his own range of bottled water.
There are also rumours he is planning to try and sell ice to the Inuits (not Eskimos).
Of course, if he does go down the 'putting a natural resource in a bottle and selling it for an extortionate amount of money' route, he will probably be forced to abandon his long-standing association with Pepsi.
'An insider' told the Daily Mirror: 'David is keen to go down the healthy route to keep in with his sporty image. And Pepsi is desperate to keep him. So who knows...'
More to the point, who cares?
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Tuesday, June 24th, 2008, 5:56 am
As the shelf life of Girls Aloud rapidly nears its conclusion, some clever soul has come up with the genius idea of starting a new pop group with five girls in it.
Wow, those music execs really earn their money don't they!
'The Saturdays' are set apart from most other pop acts in that they are not the product of a rubbish talent contest but, being signed to the same label as Girls Aloud, they can rest assured that 90 per cent of what they earn will go straight into a fat man's pocket.
Indeed, initial signs are that The Saturdays tick all the required boxes: they've all got lovely hair, smile a lot and clearly aren't too keen on having second helpings at dinner time.
Band member Rochelle successfully memorised the quote given to her by the band's PR people when offering a fascinating insight into how the quintet got its name.
She declared: 'It's everyone's favourite day of the week, and it's always the best night out.'
And, actually, I think Rochelle has hit the nail on the head:
If you find yourself listening to The Saturdays, you really should get out more.
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Thursday, June 19th, 2008, 5:23 am
There was a time when a story about an overly aggressive nasty old tart being thrown off Big Brother for being, err, overly aggressive and nasty, would be big news.
Unfortunately, it's pretty much par for the course these days.
Alexandra De-Gale, who had been up for eviction, has instead been kicked out by Big Brother for intimidating other housemates.
The comments that led to her being shown the door were not broadcast but in a transcript from Channel 4 De-Gale appears to threaten those who have upset her in the house with punishment from 'gangster friends'.
One passage read: 'I get to go out, see everyone's friends, I get to see their family. I get to do the s**t that I wanna do. Pow, pow, pow.'
Lovely girl.
As I said, this is hardly big news because De-Gale is merely the latest spiteful cretin that only a mother could love who has featured on Big Brother.
And we've still got weeks of this rubbish ahead of us!
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Thursday, June 19th, 2008, 4:41 am
I'll say one thing for Charlotte Church: she doesn't hang around.
It seems to be a trend these days, started off by the likes of Angelina Jolie and Madonna, to have hoards of children following you around.
But - and I can feel the pride welling up inside me when I say this - our Charlotte is doing it the British way!
None of this mincing around in Africa, being photographed next to some orphans before purporting to be 'making a difference' by nicking one to take home to LA...
Charlie is churning them out the traditional way!
Yep, the 22-year-old, who gave birth to daughter Ruby last September, has announced that she and husband Gavin Henson are expecting a second sprog.
You go girl! Keep 'em coming.
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