Wednesday, May 14th, 2008, 5:29 am
As we all know, the shelf life of a manufactured pop star is far from long-lived.
But some, such as Girls Aloud singer Nadine Coyle, are swtiched onto this, and are already preparing for life after miming in front of screaming kids and saw dust for dinner.
Indeed, Nadine could teach those fools from the Apprentice a thing or two with her entrepreneurial skill.
Capitalising on what she obviously sees as a thriving market, she is planning to open a chain of candle shops in America.
Genius!
Well, how else are you going to light up your house when it gets dark?
What's that you say?
Electricity?
Hmm...
But, not to be deterred, Nadine is upbeat about the business.
She said: 'I've got my mum to run it while I'm away working with the band.'
To be honest love, a blow-up doll would probably suffice.
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Wednesday, May 14th, 2008, 5:12 am
In a few years time, when we look back on 2008, we will remember it as being a dark, sorrowful time for music.
Why?
A matter of days after Geri Halliwell delivered the earth shattering news that she has retired from singing, that vocal genius Victoria Beckham has also announced her warbling days are over.
As children sobbed while others threw their arms up to the heavens in despair, Posh declared: 'I'm not going to sing anymore, I'm turning my mic off.'
Rumours are now rife that Gordon Brown will declare a public holiday to commemorate what has been described in some quarters as 'the worst couple of weeks for music lovers everywhere ever'.
Suggestions are that a date in May will be called 'The Day the Music Died Day' from now on.
Thanks for the memories Vic.
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Wednesday, May 14th, 2008, 4:56 am
Ever wondered where your money goes if you're foolish enough to send a text vote to the X Factor?
Well, if reports about Sharon Osbourne's wage demands are to be believed, this will give you a pretty good idea.
According to The Sun, Osbourne is currently paid £1.5m to pass on her extensive musical knowledge to the various crap cabaret singers who perform in front of her, but she is holding out for £2m to feature on the next series.
So Sharon's worth two million and the acts are two bob...
Happy texting.
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Monday, May 12th, 2008, 6:04 am
It's really heart-warming when celebs take time out from being really famous and rich to draw attention to a charity or good cause.
Simply Red front man Mick Hucknall is no different and he has been talking candidly about his views on a problem that is dividing communities accross the world.
He said: 'When it comes to name calling for being ginger, then that's simple bullying.
'It's like racism, not the same but the principle is similar.'
Referring to his own battle with the bullies, he added: 'The truth is if you're successful, you've sold a load of albums and slept with a load of women - and all the rest of it is just pure envy.'
Oh shut up ginger nut!
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Monday, May 12th, 2008, 5:55 am
Madonna may be approaching her half-century but that doesn't stop her acting like a potty-mouthed youngster while dressing like an S&M-themed hooker.
Very refreshing if you ask me.
With Radio 1's Big Weekend festival being broadcast live before the watershed, one must assume Madge's pre-gig pep talk was along the lines of 'please try not to swear that much your highness'.
But, as my dad would say, the advice clearly went 'in one ear and out the other' as she bounded onto the stage with a suitably sweary rant.
She shouted: 'You guys out there are going to have to start f***ing it up out there 'cos I need to feel some love. I'm going to do an old song. But not too old. F**k the present. Let's Live in the past.'
No, I don't really understand that either (but she did say f**k quite a lot).
To add insult to injury for the millions of viewers sure to be flooding the Points of View mailbox, Madge wore a tight-fitting, low-cut top which, as one newspaper puts it, she 'threatened to topple out of'.
Boobs and swearing.
That's entertainment.
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