Friday, February 29th, 2008, 5:32 am
Back at the NME Awards, and Kelly Osbourne proved that her mother does not have the monopoly on being foul-mouthed and obnoxious in a 'scary drunk woman' sort of way.
According to The Metro (bear with me), Kelly 'humiliated herself on stage with a drunken attack on the show host's mother'.
As you might imagine, copius amounts of alcohol appear to have been involved, with Kelly turning all sullen and nasty just as she was due to present an award on stage.
The final straw came when show host James Corden introduced her as 'the queen of hanging out with the bands'.
Oops, a bit too close to the truth there James.
It takes a lot to stun a drunken audience into silence but Kelly managed it as she ranted 'go f*** your mother Mr queen of hanging out with the bands', into the mic.
The bit that probably haunted her as soon as she woke up with a hangover was her undignified exit - struggling frantically to exit through a gate at the back of the stage as audience members broke into hoots of laughter.
Take plenty of fluids on board Kelly, and maybe some toast when you feel well enough...
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Friday, February 29th, 2008, 5:20 am
It would seem that being a great big sex god doesn't make you immune from also being a bit of a smelly herbert.
According to The Metro (so it must be true), Orlando Bloom's missus, model Miranda Kerr, has been forced to take drastic action because he has been skimping on the personal hygiene front.
'A friend' of Kerr's said: 'Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often. Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly.
'He'll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks.'
Come on Orlando, don't get complacent.
When the pretty face starts going saggy and the beer belly takes over, you'll just be known as 'smelly Orlando'.
But, if you sort yourself out, you could be known as 'nice-smelling Orlando, who used to be really pretty.'
You choose.
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Friday, February 29th, 2008, 5:06 am
There was yet another gathering of musicians getting drunk on free plonk and patting each other on the back last night...
...the NME Awards featured the usual procession of gongs being presented, followed by barely audible acceptance 'speeches' and amusing drunken behaviour.
Zzzzzzzz
And, according to reports, it was all a bit much for Alexa Chung - the model turned giggling presenter - who is going out with Arctic Monkeys singer Alex Turner.
The Mirror describes how during some 'romantic slobberings' between the pair, Alexa suddenly pulled away before depositing a pukey present all over his trainers.
Lovely.
The Mirror cites 'a severe bout of food poisoning' as the reason behind Alexa's impromptu chunder.
Nothing to do with the free booze, you understand...
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Friday, February 29th, 2008, 4:41 am
Never mind the Oscars, or indeed the Nobel Peace Prize...
The award they all want is the La Redoute Celebrity Mum of the Year.
And, following a tense and exciting voting process, not to mention some furious debate on the iVillage message boards, Suzanne Shaw (pictured) claimed the coveted crown.
Shaw has brought up three-year-old Corey on her own, after Darren Day rather kindly decided to jump ship.
Shaw, who is currently starring in Dancing on Ice, said: 'Being a mum is hard work, and bringing up Corey by myself hasn’t been easy, as I’m sure all single mothers can vouch for. To win this award is really amazing and such an honour. Corey will be so proud.'
Shaw received 28 per cent of the vote while second-placed Coleen Nolan took 25 per cent.
Myleene Klass was third, ahead of Katie Price and Emma Bunton.
Do you agree with the result?
Get involved in the debate here: http://messageboards.ivillage.co.uk/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-ukprforum&msg=774 .1&ctx=0
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Thursday, February 28th, 2008, 4:41 am
Following hot on the heels of Jennifer Lopez giving birth to twins, reports suggest Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will also get a 'two for the price of one' deal.
A national newspaper claims Brad 'told close friends' that he and Ang are expecting twins.
I suppose they can't have been really close friends because now we all know!
Brad once 'joked' that he wanted enough children to form his own football team.
Looks like you're almost there...
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