Sunday, April 29th, 2007, 5:00 pm
Eek! Im in a lazy mood tonight, I cant be bothered to sort out a background for my blog - which has been neglected, along with my pregnancy and baby diaries lately!
You know when your body screams "stop! slow down!" but your brain responds with "no no! you mustn't, you HAVE to get this, this and this done!" .... I think thats the stage we're at at the moment... but it must be a hectic stage because everyone at the moment is commenting on it!
I think it's mainly the study thing getting to me right now... I HAVE to get finished, I am so close to finishing, but Im so tired out from everything that it feels very hard to do.
I have the equivelent of one block of study and 2 essays to write, and I am done until october. I need to give maybe 1 - 2 days to part of it with 1 essay included in that time, and maybe 12 - 16 hours to the last part including the last essay, and I'm done... and I so want it to be over for a while, but its just getting that final grip of it ya know...
If anyone happens to have a degree in social sciences, and fancies bailing my ass out, it would definately be appreciated!
On the plus side, being so mean when my body yells at me has managed to help mama england pick right up, okay we're not attaining triple figures of posts yet, but over the last two days, we have approached the 50 posts each day mark, even with me buggering off to host a barbecue for two lovely sets of friends - both of whom we originally met on ivilliage.
Okay, I must stop putting this off. Its 10 pm, and Im going to study for half an hour before trying to get a bit of sleep before my little man wakes to nurse, or my little lady wakes to dance.
thanks for all the lovely wall grafitti, and appologies to messages I havent repled to! xxx
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Wednesday, April 18th, 2007, 3:10 am
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** NOTE TO MY ANGEL MUMMY FRIENDS - ANOTHER PREGNANCY BLOG **
Well, despite my best efforts to back out after the awful dream, I went for my scan.
I had lots of time in betweeen, as, for the first time ever, the dietician was running along on time. So I spent half an hour just walking around the outside of the hospital, drinking water, and begging it to stay down!
We still managed to get up for our scan rather early, so the wait felt very wrong. Whoever it was that said babies are rocked to sleep by a good walk was talking rot though! Our little one was dancing like a mad thing while we were in the waiting room. Kaedyn-Jayce amused himself though, and learnt how to operate a bottle top in that time - both how to open it, and how to close it. What a clever little man!
We finally got called in, and baby was being very anti social! She must have known we were peeking in again because she kicked so hard she knocked the probe, then she turned so that she was face and belly down and stuck her bottom in the air!!! Bless.
Before the sonographer started trying to do the technical stuff, she showed us the babies sine, head, etc. Couldn't see her face as it was well and truly hidden. The only time she turned to face us was when she kicked out!
The sonographer started to do what she could with the baby being in such a position. She managed to mesure the femur length - 4omm already! She checked babies spine, bladder, heart and brain. All seemed well there, though her head measurement is a little behind, as is her tummy measurement, but then, none of my children have had huge heads!
We have to go back because there are bits that couldn't be checked... including hands and feet, and these are important as we have a child with a disability of the lower legs and feet, and also a child who was born with a biped thumb. So thats in 10 days time, on Thursday 26th at 11.20am. I don't expect that they will tell us anything though, as for all the children we have had, one has very obvious, structural talipese, another had a biped thumb, and of course, sadly one's heart had stopped beating, we have only found out about the heart beat on a scan. Every other thing with two of the children was missed! Ironically, Dion-Karl is the only one we've ever been "called back" for, and he had nothing that would have been noticable on a scan when he was born!!!
So, our 22 Week Scan is booked for 26th April when we'll be 22+3.
Our 26 Week Scan is booked for 1st June when we'll be 28+4 - though we're trying to get that moved as its in half term and the bigger boys go nuts!
Our 32 Week Scan is booked for 2nd July when we'll be 32 weeks.
And our 36 Week scan is yet to be arranged.
She was not being camera friendly today, but by bouncing, then being turned from upside down, to almost standing, and then going back upside down AND laying on my side the sonographer managed to get a profile shot, though I think that may have to be checked again. So although she's pouting a little, we did manage to get the one picture of her little face...
So from today, I can start sorting through the clothes that we have properly, and picking up a few bits and bobs, though friends and even people we don't know that well keep offering clothes! It's a real strange thing! It never happened with the boys.
Thank you so much for all the kind messags on boards, on my wall, in the comments, and messages via my connect. You're all wonderful, and I truly appreciate your time and thoughts. xxx
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Monday, April 16th, 2007, 3:03 am
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** Note To all of my Angel Mummy friends : Pregnancy Related **
I have had the most awful night. It strted with Kaedyn-Jayce not wanting to settle, and every time I did get him settled, one of the bigger two waking him up. So he was restless and fussy all night long. He woke in the early hours, after letting me get to sleep after Midnight in the end. Then, he was awake by 5:30. He nursed briefly and went back off. So I tried to get half an hour too. This was my big mistake.
I drifted into a heavy sleep, and had the most awful dream.
I dreamed that I arrived for my scan today, and the wait took forever. I got in there, and they confirmed that baby was a girl - that was the most important thing to them - and then said "but she's not alive anymore".
They said "you're about 17 weeks yes?"
"No, 21 weeks, 21 weeks today", but I got told she was measuring 19 at most... but she was kicking last night and in the early hours of the morning. She must have grown to 21 weeks. She was fine not long ago.
They argued the toss for a bit, and then told me to go home and come back at 6 the next morning and they'd "sort me out".
Next morning, my mother turned up, just to moan about how hard her life is for ten minutes before work, not noticing that everyone in the house was in floods of tears and then she left.
I changed my MSN name to "leave me alone, my baby has died." But everyone kept sending me congratz messages, and links to double prams.
Before we left for the hospital, I checked with the doppler and we found a heartbeat. I felt her kick too. It didnt make any sense. I said I was going to demand a scan before they did anything, and then the alarm clock went and I had to get up.
It was only when the alarm clock went that my brain realised it was a dream - something that is very unusual for me because unless i'm having one of my hypnagogic episodes Im lucky enough to know that I am dreaming.
Upshot is that I now don't want to go today, and Jas is going frantic at me! It all seems a bit much today already, and the day's not even really started yet!
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Saturday, April 14th, 2007, 9:59 am
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I'm afraid, this is a warning in advance... I'm feeling hormonal and cranky, so NOT a cheerful blog to read I'm afraid!
Have you ever had one of those very long weeks when you don't feel like you're "wanted" anywhere or like you quite "fit in"... leaving you bothering why you even make the effort?!
One of those I'm afraid! Definately not a people person this week... It's one of those "wishing I were with my angel" ones I'm afraid.
Worse still, its one of those ones where the things that get to you the most, are the ones you cant quite put your finger on so to speak! How do you fix those ones? I'm not quite sure.
Anyhow, I think my big boys are looking forward to being back at school. As cute as they are, they are little buggers at times, and fairly inconsiderate... actually, thinking about it, I have to believe thats a male thing.
The bathroom behaviour of Males is a good example. I know that I, as a woman, tend to clean up any mess I make, and ensure the bathroom smells and looks clean as much as possible. But every time I go up there after one of the male residents of the household has been in there, I'm pulling chunks of hair out! Is it so difficult to spray if you make a stink? Or to wipe round the sink after you use it? Or even to hang a towel as it should be? No, didn't think so... so why is it that I am the only one who does these things?
The rest of the house is pretty much the same really! It just gets irritating at times - especially when its a room you've just spent ALL DAY cleaning and de-cluttering!!!
Getting out of the house is getting to be a pain in the butt these days too! Seems to generate opportunity for grumpyness. Went to the bank to pay a cheque in on Friday. I was in last week and was accosted by a young "financial advisor", who 'remrked' on my balance, and advised I open myself an ISA with them. Hmmmmmm, I have a Gold account, I pay for perks, I don't get any of them, Why? Because some "financial advisor" has screwed up somewhere along the line, and every time I try to fix it I get told "Oh, it'll take a couple of months to sort. The computers are slow." Funny that, When I hit "preview" and then "submitt" My little home computer will send this to Ivillage, and then to all on Ivillage in a matter of seconds. Its never taken a matter of days, let alone weeks to do anything! So after all that, I went in this week, and as Im trying to pay my cheque in, the cashier asks "have you got a few moments spare to review your account and consider a higher interest investment account, like an ISA?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Bog off!!! Argh!!!
Also peeved with family at the moment... Three weeks ago, Kaedyn-Jayce got this D&V bug that was going round - the day after mothers day. I suspected at the time it had come from my mother to be honest, but I wasnt totally sure. If a germ is going to come though, its usually with her. It filtered through the rest of the household within about 48 hours, but then it was done and dusted. It was clear then for six days, no probs, no symptoms. Then, Mother visits, and within 24 hours, same thing all over. Got rid, clear for three days, and then, the same bloody thing yet again...
This has now happened 4 or 5 times in that short space of time, and it only starts to happen again after seeing her or my sister (they live together). Its so bloody irritating!
I think we're gonna go into hiding to get rid of it... three months should do the trick huh?
And other elements of the family, I am 99.999% sure have been gossiping and stirring - nothing new I'm afraid. But the culprit had the cheek to try and lay it on Dion, saying that he told something to someone at school, and that someone at school told someone else. Firstly, 7 year olds dont particularly care for this particular something, Secondly, no one that Dion knows, knows the "other someone", and thirdly, Dion denies it point blank, and generally he is pretty good at telling the truth, and when he does lie, he does a very crap job. So Im really cross about that too.
Aside from that, left out as always. A big, important family gathering happened, and were we invited? Were we heck! But I guess, when you don't even get an invite to your own nannas burial, you shouldn't expect to be invited anywhere else either unless you are wanted for flowers, catering, or cleaning up?! I REALLY like the idea of the nuclear family!!!
We're a bit worried as Kailes neurologist appointment is now scheduled for the 8th of next month. Great that it is so fast, but also worrying because you are meant to get this letter to tell you are on a 6 week waiting list... but Kaile's skipped that part and been rushed as an emergency. The Doctor he is seeing is a very busy man, and googling his name he seems to be a very prominent and influencial chap. Great in one respect, but also slightly worrying. Still, I guess we shall see in a couple of weeks eh?
Aside from lots of illness, KJ is doing well. His word of the week is "whoops"! He had his first haircut this week. He hated the process, I hate the haircut. Its not looking good at all!
And Dion, well, Dion is Dion! cheeky and happy as always. He's keen to get back to school and see Daniel now, bless.
On Monday, we have our 21 week scan. I'm not feeling too anxious about the scan itself. After all, none of the problems (Talipese, Biped thumb, etc) of our other children have been detected in bloods or on the scans, they always happen at birth. But then, I started to worry about feeling so relaxed. I did mention that to a couple of people, but no one seems in the mood to be very reassuring these days... which I think, might be the whole reason behind the "why do I even bother" thing!
I'm sure all will be fine on Monday anyway. A couple of people have been great as always, so they'll be the ones I mail pics to, everyone else can bog off!
OOOOOOOOH! I still cant add the comments that are waiting to my page, because there's still a glitch. As soon as I't fixed, I'll add them in.
xxx
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Tuesday, April 10th, 2007, 5:02 pm
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My eldest - Kaile-Dayne - is fascinated with this bloody barry scott bloke! We have no idea why! But he likes to shout things like "BANG! And barry scotts head has gone" etc, at inopportune moments. So when Jas found this, I couldnt resist sharing it with you all !
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