Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008, 8:54 am
I'm trying to be brave - having my photo on my page I mean!!
I can't believe I've got it up, can't stand mirrors, don't like having photos or videos done of myself either!!
It's all part of trying to get over my fears, I'm hoping that I won't scare too many people with my ugly mug rofl......very tempting to take it off though........
I've even booked myself into an aerobics class next Monday, I must be going mad!! Don't know if I will go, although I've paid upfront to try and force myself into sticking with it! Yikes!!
God only knows what they'll think of me bounding and wobbling around everywhere! :p rofl
I want to go though, in a way, to meet people but also to get fit and get some energy back! I feel so slobbish a lot of the time, I want to like myself so I'm hoping a slow, small body change will help
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bravery, energy, photo, health, aerobics
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Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008, 8:54 am
I'm trying to be brave - having my photo on my page I mean!!
I can't believe I've got it up, can't stand mirrors, don't like having photos or videos done of myself either!!
It's all part of trying to get over my fears, I'm hoping that I won't scare too many people with my ugly mug rofl......very tempting to take it off though........
I've even booked myself into an aerobics class next Monday, I must be going mad!! Don't know if I will go, although I've paid upfront to try and force myself into sticking with it! Yikes!!
God only knows what they'll think of me bounding and wobbling around everywhere! :p rofl
I want to go though, in a way, to meet people but also to get fit and get some energy back! I feel so slobbish a lot of the time, I want to like myself so I'm hoping a slow, small body change will help :D
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Monday, January 21st, 2008, 6:19 am
This is my first blog, and I am quite nervous about it lol!
What if no-one reads it? What if they read it and don't like it?
My biggest fear - and hurdle - is putting myself out there.
Like a lot of other people I have low self-esteem and hardly any confidence, having kids has just made me worse because over the years I've used them as an excuse as to why I haven't gone out socialising or joining new groups etc.
I always think I can't leave the kids, or There isn't anyone to babysit, and We can't really afford it, we should spend the money on the kids instead.
When really I haven't even asked anyone to babysit, the kids would cope quite alright with me gone for an hour or two and if I really wanted to, we could afford it.
I seem to spend most of my life making excuses to avoid putting myself out on a limb, purely because I'm so scared no-one will like me and I won't make any friends!
I'm so shy and nervous when I do go out I either come across as ignorant or boring!! When really I'm neither.
So I've decided to make tiny steps into beating my own fear, by trying to meet new friends online, its easier to take rejection through a screen than face-to-face!
I'm so tired of living like a recluse lol and because I don't want my kids to grow up the same, I've decided to take a chance, it may be a small one, but it's still a chance!
I used to be overflowing with confidence, but past experiences and problems soon knocked that on the head, how on earth I managed to pluck up the courage to speak to my future hubby I'll never know lol, but I managed it and now I'm so glad I did. So it just shows that if I do take a chance occassionally, and put myself out there, I might actually get something good out of it!
So here I am, putting myself out there, and hoping I find something good!
Nicki
x
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chance, shy, risk, fear, friends
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