Wednesday, July 11th, 2007, 9:46 pm
My heart feels like its breaking.
Will I ever smile again?
You would've been my most precious gift,
Now all I'm left with is pain.
I never got to feel you move,
But still, I knew you were there.
I'm still young they tell me,
Do they really think I care?
We wanted you so very much,
I cried when I seen the test.
But now you're gone, you've left me.
I can't lay this to rest.
It's been over a year since you left me,
The father called you home.
Until it's my time to go to sleep,
This earth is where I'll roam.
At the gates, you'll wait for me,
When my time is finally through,
And then I'll be completed,
I'll finally get to hold you.
You're always in my thoughts by day,
You're in my dreams by night.
I know you're watching over me,
You're just somewhere out of sight.
My precious baby Morgan,
I don't know what else I can say,
Except you hold a place within our hearts,
And we'll love you - forever and a day
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Saturday, July 7th, 2007, 8:35 am
It's been 3 years since you left us. Everyday I think that you're going to walk through that door.
My wedding day should have been the happiest day of my life but all I could think of was that you weren't there. You promised to dance with me, you were teaching me how to dance properly. Were you watching over me? My something borrowed was one of your cotton hankercheifs with the blue "D" embroidered on it. It never left my side.
I think about you all the time and I miss you. We all miss you. It should've been your Golden anniversary last month. It broke my gran's heart that she couldn't chare it with you. I pray your taking care of Ranger, I know you said "you hate dugs" but you loved him really. Please take care of Morgan for us, your great grandson. We called him Morgan Don after you.
The anniversaries are always hard. We just miss you so much.
Goodnight papa, we love you.
Donna
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Tuesday, June 19th, 2007, 5:02 pm
On the up side, my cycles are still getting shorter.
I'm on day 31 and I just know that the witch is on her way. I don't know when I'm due, don't know if I even ov'd this cycle, but I do know that I'm having awful cramps and I've been spotting the past 3 days so I guess she'll be here any day now.
I'm just sooooo fed up of all this waiting. Why did I have to miscarry? why couldn't our baby have survived? Why can't I be a mum already?
I know it's selfish but I want my babies! I don't want to have to wait til I get to Heaven to meet them - I want them with me now. I hate this. It doesn't matter what I want. What's done is done and I can't change it but it doesn't stop me from being hurt.
I was at my friends' wee boy's 1st birthday party today. I want that. I want to have my baby and be so proud as I show them off to the world. I don't know if it would bother me so much if she wasn't a single parent? Am I being judgemental (or just plain mental!)?
I don't want to wait anymore Lord Please, answer our prayers. We have so much love to give a child, my cat's are feeling smothered but I've nowhere else to direct it! I love David, and I really want to have his children (if that's not too greedy) - preferably all at the one time cos I reeeally don't want to go through this again! Please God. I'm on my knees begging here. Please.
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Saturday, June 16th, 2007, 10:00 pm
It's been just shy of 2 weeks since my car was driven off. On Wednesday, absolutely nothing had been done. Then...
I was at the sauna with a friend. Nothing unusual there. Then he got a pgone call. He's a dj and was asked if he could take a lead to another dj in the town of Rutherglen. So, he called home and picked up the lead than, instead of dropping me off, took me with him. All the time I'm cursing him under my breath cos I'm knackered and want my bed. Then he gets lost. He flags down a car (yes, I do think he's male!) and it just so happened that they were heading to the same place so we followed. Outside the club, he has a ciggie and a chat with the bouncers. He goes in, takes 10 minutes to come back out, where he then has another ciggie and chat.
Finally, he gets back to the car. He's just opening the door when I notice a gold car fly past with the reg T OUT. I didn't catch the numbers. I'm sitting there. pointing and struggling to speak, he's seen it too so he jumps in and quickly tries to get away after it. It's a new bloomin car so he stalls it!
By the time we get going, it's gone. I'm gutted but I finally get home and update the police. I've already decided that I'm going back to Rutherglen the next day! I call my brother and he agrees to follow me (I've got my gran in the car cos my dh assures me it's a wild goose chase and, well, she'll stop me doing anything silly). So we get back to the club I was at the night before and about 100 yards up the road - there she is! Only problem, that's not my plate number.
I'm sure it's my car so I take a walk up and I can see the wee dings on the front passenger door and the scratch on the roof but that's it. Until it hits me, the tax disc has the same expiry date. I checked it and sure enough, that's my Betsy! I called the police and they say they'll send out a car.
While we're waiting, the guy that picked my car up pulled up, holding out the key. I tell him I'm not taking it, the police are on the way so he drives off. By this point, my car, my brother's car and the car parked behind it are blocking Betsy in. The guy comes back and this time my brother takes the key - without any contact with his skin. The guy drives off again but I take his plate number. He caomes back yet again and tells me that I have the key and I should just take the car and go - what am I? Stupid? He drives off and then does another circuit. He then starts to cross the top of the road, obviously hoping we'll go - no chance!
The police finally come and this guys long gone. they have a look in the car and the blinkin idiot's only gone and left his sat nav in the glovie! The police canvas the area and tell me I can go home. I point out where the guys car had been parked before we found the car - his car was lovely so I noticed it - and it turns out to be his house. This guy is a total plonker!
So, now he's charged and gave a full confession to the theft of my car and the defrauding of two other guys through paypal. I have to pay £150 to get my car from the impound lot - which sucks cos I solved the case! - but I should get compensation from this guy according to the police.
Thank the Lord for putting me in the right place at the right time! I know this was His work because why else would it have taken us that long to get there, or even be there in the first place, and just happen to notice my car?
Thank You Lord!!!
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Saturday, June 16th, 2007, 9:35 pm
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